You'd think it was simple, wouldn't you? Gay Iranian woman comes to England and claims asylum (asylum means 'a place of safety'. It seems many people have forgotten this). Homosexuality is illegal in Iran; her partner was arrested. tortured, and sentenced to death by stoning, her father was arrested and tortured to reveal her wherabouts. It isn't like the Iranian authorities don't know about her. Do we take her in? Welcome her and comfort her with open arms?

Excuse me for being a bit thick, but why do our toilets have U-bends? What purpose do they serve? Surely if the waste went down a straight pipe we'd need less than the standard 8 litres of water to flush it down?

I'm trying to save water at the moment, so does anyone have an answer for me?

We in the West don't like to change. Oh we like the idea of it, sure enough. We like leaping on our high horses about climate change and 'Doing Our Bit'. But it would seem we're only happy to Do Our Bit if we can do it within our own comfort zone. Look around you. Look at Smart cars, bio-diesel, carbon off-setting and kerbside recycling. How to save the planet without actually having to lift a finger. How about, and here's a radical thought; how about not owning a car at all. How about not flying. How about using less in the first place; buying goods that are already recycled, so that all the paper and glass and plastic you so dutifully sort actually makes a difference, instead of being stored in a container in Liverpool docks because there's no market for recycled paper, or green glass.

One day there'll be a page here just for recipes, but until then I'll just drop them randomly into my blog.

I'd never made chocolate brownies before today, they just seemed too extravagant - I mean, a whole block of real chocolate, just for cooking with? Then a certain supermarket employed a Jedi Knight for a day (probably hired from one of those charity shops I mysteriously have to go into) and made me buy a big slab of "quality" cooking chocolate because it was broken and thus reduced. Sigh.

Anyway, I dug out a recipe given me by a friend (thanks Charlotte!) ages ago, and set to work. It scared me a bit at first: Cocoa powder *and* chocolate?! But heck, who am I to argue? And my life they are delicious.

Here's a Life Lesson I should have learned years ago, which I will share with the unwary: When choosing a quick lunch to be eaten in a public space, don't go into a Yorkshire sandwich shop. No, go to Boots or something. Get a couple of damp, compact triangles with some obedient sliced chicken stuffed into the front. Something that's not going to embarrass you. Do not struggle with your food; eat discreetly.

So, we hear in The Guardian that "Government plans for changes in the law to boost rape conviction rates are in disarray after the judges who would have to put them into practice told ministers they oppose them.

Overall, the judges believe that the proposed measures are too complex and are urging ministers to have more faith in the common sense of jurors. "The law shouldn't be complicated. It should be something that everybody understands," one circuit judge said."

Um, I hate to be one to show a lack of faith in intellectual professionals who have spent goodness knows how many years learning and training and rising to their current positions, but when we have "a plummeting conviction rate for rape that has dropped from 33% of reported cases in 1977 to just 5.29% in 2004.", isn't it time we stopped relying on 'common sense'?

How to Be A Domestic Goddess. What a wonderful goal. We now have books that tell us how to do everything, by ourselves; how marvellous! Yes, actually, I can bake bread, clean my house, play with my children, clean their shoes, make my own letter paper, pay the bills (on time) *and* get dinner on the table. Can't you?

Who said that? I did; weren't you listening? Now, I may have been ill for nearly a month (poorly, not hospitalised), but it didn't kill me. No no, I have learned from it. It has made me stronger. I have learned the ancient art of What To Drink.

Well, it happens most days actually. I sometimes have seal children, or tiger children; once I had two small pilot whales running around the kitchen. But today it was penguins. Not sure what kind - Emperor I think, given the noise. They pitter pattered in the kitchen, swaying and honking as they struggled through an Antartic blizzard. It was too much for the littler one to cope with, and he had to stop for a rest on his daddy's feet. But they made it to the bedroom eventually. There was a noisy greeting dance, and a display of how penguins are the fastest animals in the world at getting into their pyjamas (nice one Dad), and now they're snuggled down in their snowy beds to sleep until the sun returns. This may be mid spring, this is Yorkshire. We can hope.