How to Be A Domestic Goddess. What a wonderful goal. We now have books that tell us how to do everything, by ourselves; how marvellous! Yes, actually, I can bake bread, clean my house, play with my children, clean their shoes, make my own letter paper, pay the bills (on time) *and* get dinner on the table. Can't you?

Well, no actually, but why should I? One of my favourite sayings is "A tidy house is a sign of a wasted life", although I still feel a twinge of guilt when I say it.

I have recently made friends with a woman from Zimbabwe. I have two small kids and am rubbish at housework. This is Not Acceptable in today's society - we have to do it all! Supermum indeed. Anyway, I was so embarrassed when this friend came round to my house for the first time, took one look round and said 'I'll wash your dishes for you.' I protested but there's no gainsaying an African mum with a purpose! She made my horrible kitchen spotless, and then said 'How do you expect to be able to do everything when you have kids to look after? In Africa we share it all.'

She told me that when her three girls were little she and the neighbours would take it in turns to look after kids and do each other's housework; to her it was ludicrous that anyone would attempt to do everything by themselves. It took an effort to overcome my 'social conditioning', but now I don't mind her cleaning my house. It doesn't make me feel a failure, it feels like I have a kind friend!

So why do we do it to ourselves? Why, as pointed out on Simple Living, should I grow all my own fruit and veg *and* bake my own bread? Isn't there someone out there who can bake their bread and mine, whilst I grow enough fruit and veg for the both of us?